Elvis Blogs - Elvis McNeely

In case most of you don’t know, baby Levi died early Tuesday (Oct 9th) morning. My brother and his wife did get to see baby Levi alive on the life support machines for several hours before pulling the plug. Levi was determined to be brain dead from the moment of impact.

It was last Tuesday, 8 days ago from today that my mother called and said when the funeral would be and gave me an update on how everybody was doing. There was a lot to do during those two days of getting ready for the funeral. Unfortunately I wasn't able to update people who had been praying for my family. So, hopefully this will serve as a belated update and post update.

We left to go to the funeral early Thursday morning and arrived at the hotel somewhere around three or four o'clock. Stela (my daughter) did very well during the trip down, especially considering she didn't nap. The following day we went to the showing around 10 o'clock in the morning and met with my family. They got to see Stela, it had been 2 years since they have last seen her. It was somewhat odd to hug and have joyous moments with family you haven't seen in two years while at a funeral home. The remaining time was spent on speaking with my brother, his wife and daughter. It seemed they were doing well considering the circumstances. They (brother and his wife) are both beat up a bit from the wreck and are still healing, will be for the next 3 months.

The following day was the funeral. My step brother and his wife did quite well at the showing, I was for certain that emotions would be extremely high during the actual funeral. Surprisingly things went pretty good, the message that the pastor gave was excellent and right on target. It's probably exactly what Matthew Ryan and his wife needed to hear. A lot of people showed up to the funeral and the drive to the gravesite was an experience I won't forget. Each car along the way stopping and pulling over as the funeral cars drove to the gravesite; this was a 5-6 mile drive through the busy side of the city. I believe the funeral director chose the path to take to get to the gravesite. It was beautiful at the end of the drive, we came up to the hill with lots of trees on both sides of the road with the sun shinning through them, it was a great moment and appropriate. For a brief moment it seemed God had created that whole scenery just for this occasion.

At the gravesite, everyone said their goodbyes to baby Levi. My brother, his wife and their daughter ended up staying until the coffin was put in the ground and dirt placed on top of it. My parents were there too. They were a little concerned how Isabelle (5 years old) reacted to seeing the graveyard people put her baby brother in the ground - throwing dirt on top of him.

Isabelle seemed to be handling the whole situation pretty good up to that point. The previous days she did well during the showing. She took time out to explain to family members and friends that her brother was "dead" or that "if that guy wouldn't have hit our car my brother wouldn't be dead”. She had not an ounce of anger or sadness, she just stated the plain facts. But I think a bit more sunk in after seeing her baby brother put into the ground. Many of the family members didn't have any words for Isabelle while she talked so easily about her baby brother. That in itself concerned me.

We spent the remaining of Friday and Saturday spending time with my father and grandmother as well as my mother and stepfather. All in all, all went well and Stela did pretty good for the most part. There were a few times during the showing and at the gravesite and that Stela gave us some problems but considering the environment she was in I think all went well.

During the next few weeks, months, or even years my step brother and his wife and daughter are going to need a lot of prayers. Even though they looked physically well they still have a lot a healing that needs to take place before my brother can go back to work. So there's a financial need during these next three months. And for my sister-in-law, she is the one who showed her emotions more during the funeral. It is my hope that she will receive a special blessing from the Lord.

Some years ago my aunt lost her baby during pregnancy. She is a Christian and later shared with us how it really bothered her that God had allowed this to take place. It was her first pregnancy and she was really wanting to have a child. A few years later she ended up getting pregnant again and this time around she had a set of twins. Sometime after she gave birth I remember her saying something like God is faithful or God had blessed me, referring to her first loss and now she has two children at the same time. The Bible shows in many places throughout that a woman and her child have a special relationship and that for some reason God blesses them differently than a man and his child; God gives special blessings to mothers.

That is my prayer for Alicia, my sister-in-law, that God will give her a special blessing, and help her churn through the mourning process in a healthy and spiritual way.

As for Matthew Ryan, my step brother, I am hoping that his head injury will be healed soon and you'll be back on its feet at work within no time. I'm sure there are a lot of emotional things that he will have to deal with. One thing I know for sure that he's going to have to do something about is the small bathroom that he was in the process of making for his son. During the gravesite time, he said he would leave the bathroom as it is for possibly a couple of years. From a guy's perspective, that would be harder for me to deal with. Removing this bathroom or changing and modifying it for another purpose would cause a stir in me more than seeing a toy or a piece of clothing of baby Levi. Since Matthew Ryan was actually building the bathroom himself and his time in energy invested into that living space, I am sure that bathroom is going to create a tender spot in his heart. I'm sure there are other areas within the house that will be similar where he will have to deal with the emotions tied to those spaces; he is a “handy” man and has spent time working on his house for his family. It is my hope that he will learn to deal with his emotions in a way that allows him to comfort his wife and daughter and mourn with them as a family.

Isabelle, she is a neat little girl. My concerns are for her ability to understand and take in what has happened. I have read and heard many times over that children are resilient and handle things better than adults. That is my hope, and she has a great childhood and still remembers her brother in a loving way.

That is a long-winded update. But I felt that it was appropriate because many people, many I don't even know, are daily taking time out to pray for my brother and his wife as well as asking for updates.

I didn't spend too much time talking about their physical needs. Both looked physically good but both need some healing. My sister-in-law has double vision and so she keeps one eye closed most of the time. Supposedly she is going to get a special pair of glasses, I think they're called prism glasses, that will help her with the double vision thing. And for my brother, he's wearing a neck brace and is to remain seated upright for another week and a half, to keep the fluid draining downwards within the skull. Both look physically well though.

Thank you everyone for your condolences, prayers and concerns.
Blessings to everyone,
The McNeely's