Elvis Blogs - Elvis McNeely

I haven't seen a toddler yet not challenge their parents with the "No" word. Recently I made a discovery how to get my daughter to rethink before she says no. I never planned nor expected her to respond this way but she did / does.

Here is what happened.

One afternoon Stela started her series of "no's" to everything we asked. She was purposely being disobedient. I can’t recall what we were asking her to do but it probably had something to do with her not doing something so she doesn’t get hurt. I then explained to her that when she says no to mommy and daddy, it is like saying we don't know what we are talking about or are lying. I went on to add that it would be equivalent to us saying that her name is not Stela.

She didn't like that and she began to think for a moment. I then wanted to see if she understood what I just explained so I said "your name is not Stela, is that true". Then the ahah moment hit. She reclaimed her name and started saying yes repeatedly. Then my ahah moment – “ah, She likes the idea that she exists and that you can't take away her identity / name”.

That was too easy I thought. Surely she didn't understand me. I then asked her again the same question she originally said no too, and she replied with a yes - repeatedly! So, now when she is being disobedient and spouting off the "no" word, I simply ask her “what is your name” as a reminder to our talk- her attitude quickly changes :)

I hope I am not in some weird way warping my daughter using this method but it does work. Now, how long will our tip trick last? Probably not long enough. She will figure out regardless if I say she doesn’t exist that in fact she does. Kids are smart.